Why is everyone in this restaurant kissing? Did i accidentally enter a brothel. I hate when that happens!

Tales from Tim Horton

I’m in Canada? I’m not really, but apparently Google keeps wanting me to change to google.ca. I can’t decide if that’s because the HQ for Tim Hortons (and their wifi) is in Canada or if Google just thinks they are hilarious… I mean, I have made about 50 ‘eh’ jokes already, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility athat Google and I share the same lame sense of humor.

I am drinking the most bitterest of coffees. Because cheap is key this morning and a small black coffee is the cheapest thing possible. How do people drink this and stay happy? Does everyone who drinks this just stay grumpy? I’m just imagining a bunch of truckers ordering black coffees and then standing around grunting and complaining about how the sun is too sunny and things aren’t as good as they used to be back in the day. It’s possible that my ‘truckers’ turned into imaginary 80 year old men halfway through that situation.

These two middle aged ladies came in and something about them struck me as familiar. They didn’t look like anyone I knew, I didn’t recognize their clothes and when they said each other names they didn’t sound familiar. Then when they got up to their coats shifted and I saw the badges on their belts. I think I was finding them familiar to Cagney and Lacey.

I judge people based on their books and which right wing pundit has written them.

When it’s too warm for the snowflakes to stay on the ground, it makes me sad. It also makes me feel like I should go out and catch them with my tongue. Am I saving them from a lonely death or am I killing them quicker? Either way, I’m a hero! (right?)

It’s hilarious how I can tell that the people discussing religion are Catholic. Or maybe it’s sad, I’m not sure.

Guy just indicated he wanted a huge amount of oatmeal. Like a bathtub sized amount. That is an impressive amount of oatmeal. (disclaimer: pretty sure he was being facetious) Things he could do with that much oatmeal:

• Treat massive case of winter poison ivy.
• Facial masks for him and all his friends.
• Sculpt a life sized version of himself. Then eat it.
• Slow, squishy, maple scented suicide attempt
• Paste (imagining kindergarten macaroni and oatmeal paintings)
• Pothole filler! (would only last in frozen winter months. Not squirrel proof)
• Dumped in water to soak up oil spills. Possibly creates even bigger mess.
• Oooh, the best one! He’s an evil scientist who has figured out how to create life and he’s going to create a morphing, moving, massive oatmeal monster. It’s slow and lumbering and leaves a trail of sugar as it lumbers towards you and your inevitable death. *shudder*

The Early Bird

Waking up before your alarm (and actually feeling rested) is the best feeling. It’s like this extra time is a gift! A boon which should not be squandered by simply lying in bed and going back to sleep.

Instead I squandered (heehhe, that’s a fun word to say!) it by watching videos about math-y cooking and defuzzing a sweatshirt.

Super productive!

Oh subconscious, why you gotta do this to me?

My dream this morning involved a Xander from Buffy lookalike, my childhood church, bigotry, confrontation and Christmas carols. It was like my brain took all the leftovers of a weeks worth of thinking and then made it into the worst meal ever. 

Worst part about dreams like this is the bleed over, the emotions that I was experiencing in my dreams always linger during the day. Most of the times I struggle with being a bit jumpy and paranoid after a nightmare; and on the rare occasion I get to bounce around with excitement and giddiness from a good dream. Today I'm just itching for a fight. I woke up just as I was starting to fight with the pastors wife over someone being close minded and rude and I feel like all that anger is just right under the surface.

Oh brain, it's like you don't even like me sometimes.

Unplanned Stir Fry

If I had been thinking ahead, I could have arranged chicken, or steak. I could have picked up pre-made rice at China East or Jade Garden. But there was no planning ahead for me! So I'm left making do with what I have in the kitchen.

Half a bag of rice left over from thanksgiving, a package of veggies that are only mostly freezer-burned, several onions (because you can add onions to ANYTHING!), a few cheesy brats and a bottle of BBQ sauce.

It's...well, let's be honest here, it's edible and that's the most important thing.

What I'm watching...

I'm so excited for the Les Mis movie coming out on Christmas day, (also, a bit nervous...seriously, can Russell Crowe pull off Javert?) so I've been watching the 25th anniversary concert pretty much on repeat. It's so amazing (even with Nick Jonas) and well done and just lovely!

Marsh Mellow

1 bag of marshmallows leftover from Thanksgiving yams = 1 bag too many for me

So far I've added them to hot chocolate, coffee, milk. I've put them on top of granola and inside a bowl of popcorn. I've played WAY too many games of chubby bunny. Last night I browned a bunch in the oven to add on top of my ice cream.

You know what ice cream needs? Not marshmallows. Not even a little bit. (I may have given myself sugar overdose) 

I don't want to waste food, but it's possible that I'm going to need to throw out that bag or before you know it I will be adding marshmallows to stir fry or meatloaf.

Thanksgiving 2.0

The second dinner of the weekend went really well, my turkey was much browner and while the yams were runny...they still were tasty!

And despite all the cooking I did this week, I only set one oven mitt on fire! Yay for me! Personal best!

Eucharistia

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm struck by how much I have to be thankful for this year. I keep trying to write something and really, I'm not in the mood. (also, I'm distracted by family, parades, turkey and tumblr) I really don't feel like explaining...just feel like praising God. I am so blessed and I'm so thankful for all that He has given me and done for me.

Jen's List of Awesome Things that she's Thankful for!
1. Free Wifi!
2. Family that I can spend the day with
3. Family far away
4. Heather's chocolate chip banana bread! Yummy!
5. My church family
6. The freedoms I have as an American
7. My cats (who are spending the holiday at home alone)
8. Feliz Navidad (my favorite Christmas song)
9. My God who loved me enough to send His son, who loves me enough to provide for me every day and has created an amazing and good world.

Lowered Expectations

Do you remember that bit on MAD TV where they did horrible dating videos? (Side Note: If you have Comcast or Xfinity or whatever they call themselves now, you can watch dating videos on their local on demand programming. All the videos here are Detroit local and while I feel guilty about it…I do laugh hysterically at every single one.)  The sketches weren’t funny all the time but what I remember was the softly sung 90’s jingle with the couple walking towards the barb wire fence. Every time I think about my Thanksgiving dinner this year that little jingle sings in my head “Lowered Expectations!”

I’ve been searching for cookbooks for my aunt and have kept a few for myself. I’m not a great cook, but I do enjoy challenges and I do like making food for my family. I’ve experimented with some recipes this year that have not sent anyone to the emergency room, so I was pretty excited about Thanksgiving. It’s a day devoted to cooking and eating and just seemed ripe for me to get my chef on.

Unfortunately, it’s a pretty standard fare around these parts. Turkey – slap some olive oil on the bird and stick it in the oven. Stuffing? It doesn’t get better than Stove Top. Cranberry sauce: we’ve had both canned and relish over the years and I’ve eaten neither. Gross. Give me my cranberries in a muffin form only please! As I got to thinking about it, the only things that I could conceivably experiment with were mashed potatoes and dessert. I scoured the internet for potato recipes. Mashed, baked, twice baked, jacket, fried, scalloped, and a multitude of other ways to cook ze pomme du terre. I really liked the creamy garlic mashed potato recipes, or the super delicious looking jacket potatoes.

As for dessert, I really wanted to make a pie. Apple, to be exact. For some reason, apple pie is the epitome of a perfect dessert. I think it’s just because it’s so iconic, not necessarily because it’s the tastiest dessert ever. I’ve always wanted to make an apple pie from scratch, peeling the apples in my sunny kitchen, wearing a frilly apron and smiling at my adoring husband and perfect children…and you know what, this fantasy might be about more than just dessert.

So my first step in pie-making was looking up recipes online. Do you know how many recipes there are for pie? Many. A multitude. A plethora of pie procedures. (HA!) After being overwhelmed I attempted to pick just a few recipes (ones that had “easy” in the title) and see what I could do. Which turns out, not a lot. I know how to cook…and sorta bake…but the instructions for these pies were not easy. In fact, that whole “easy as pie” saying is a lie. Pie is not easy at all. It’s full of sifting flour and crimping and tears. Despite my pie-in-the-sky (ha again!) dreams of baking from scratch, I decided to spend my thanksgiving not sabotaging myself.

But tonight I am packing a bag full of ‘stuff’ (scientific term) to take with me tomorrow so that I can experiment with mashed potatoes. Garlicy stuff, ranch flavored stuff and normal loaded potato stuff! It might not be the Julia Child/Martha Stewart masterpiece I wanted, but it’s more attainable and hopefully attainability will make my Thanksgiving much more enjoyable!

Alva FTW!

Crossword puzzle while waiting at USCIS. I'm so proud that I know Thomas Edisons middle name!

Like the song says

"Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes!"

It's the first snow of the season and I'm happy to finally see one of my favorite things!

It's novel time!

Writing music: Radioactive by Imagine Dragons
Writing environment: Far away from any distracting windows
Writing accessories: Afghan and wrist warmers (it's cold!)
Writing procrastination: THIS BLOG POST

I'm excited to write, but I'm still struggling to figure out just what to write. Each time I go to start on one of the ideas, my mind goes to another. I filled out my profile on the nano site yesterday and got intimidated by the page that has you enter your novel information. Title? Summary? Excerpt? COVER? Are they kidding me? The pressure of having all that information makes me want to avoid putting anything on that page, but then it makes me feel lame that I don't have a novel listed. Can I just enter nonsense? Are there rules? WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME WITH YOUR HIGH STANDARDS NANOWRIMO?

Okay, I'm back. Took a little breather and decided to avoid the nano page for the rest of the day. I've also decided to just start writing. Any writing is better than no writing!

Wait a second!

I could write about zombies! I love zombies!