Control Issues: Car Edition

The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
   the world, and all who live in it;
for he founded it upon the seas
   and established it upon the waters.

Who may ascend the hill of the Lord?
   Who may stand in his holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
   who does not lift up his soul to an idol
   or swear by what is false.
He will receive blessing from the Lord
   and vindication from God his Savior.
Such is the generation of those who seek him,
   who seek your face, O God of Jacob. Selah

Lift up your heads, O you gates;
   be lifted up, you ancient doors,
   that the King of glory may come in.
Who is this King of glory?
   The Lord strong and mighty,
   the Lord mighty in battle.
Lift up your heads, O you gates;
   lift them up, you ancient doors,
   that the King of glory may come in.
Who is he, this King of glory?
   The Lord Almighty—
   he is the King of glory. Selah
Psalm 24: 1- 10

Today I sat in my newly repaired car and tried to will it to stay working. Did I suddenly think I had inherited the powers of a technopath (if they actually existed…)? No. I just thought that someone needed to be in control of the car and I decided to be that someone. It didn’t work. I heard weird metallic rattles when I pressed on the gas, the car shook when I braked and at a stoplight it almost died on me. Finally I yelled out, “what am I doing wrong here?!”

God was quick to answer that what I was doing wrong was having “I” involved at all. The problem wasn’t really the car, it was the fact that I had decided that I could be in control. I got selfish about the time and money and effort that had been put into getting the car repaired. Then I got scared about the possibilities of future problems and just how I could or couldn’t cope with that. Then I took that selfishness and that fear and used it as justification for taking control. I pushed God right out of the situation and planted myself firmly in charge. And it was going soooo wonderfully.

Even seeing where I had gone wrong, it wasn’t easy to give up control. I wanted God to promise me that if I gave back the car and trusted Him, that He was going to make sure everything stayed working. But that’s not really trust. I needed to be okay with giving back control to God without knowing what was going to happen to the car. I needed to recognize God’s authority and submit to that with a willing and trusting heart. It took some time, a brief detour to a parking lot so I could pray and apologize and then loads of repeated prayers as I struggled to not wrench back control…but I did it. I handed over the car to God and trusted Him to provide for me. Of course, God took care of me in an awesome way and there were no issues at all with the car. Even better, I spent the drive praising God for giving me the chance to trust Him, for taking care of me and for always being in charge.